In recent weeks, the humble toilet roll has acquired cult status. As a result, existing supply chains, reliant on just-in-time ordering, have struggled to cope with a newly-found, and apparently insatiable, desire for this item. There have been many reports, from around the world, of empty shelves in supermarkets, where fights have broken out in aisles and at checkout counters. Angry words have been exchanged. Shoppers have been seen piling up trolleys with mini-mountains of toilet rolls. Hoards are being accumulated in private homes, warehouses, bunkers and other secret hiding places. These stockpiles are often large enough to last a whole year or even longer. Toilet rolls are the new status symbol of the day, leading these prized commodities to be resold at inflated prices, bartered, auctioned and sold online. Toilet rolls are even disappearing from public facilities and frequently becoming the targets of organised crime.
The toilet roll is an essential household object for many, contributing as it does to the personal hygiene of billions of people around the world. Toilet paper is mostly used to clean the anal region of faeces and the perineal region and genitalia of urine. It seems highly likely that women may have a greater need for the product as in current use. Further ingenious uses include the removal of makeup, schoolboy pranks, the cleaning of mirrors and glasses, packaging of goods, and even artistic uses, such as in origami.
Toilet papers are by no means new. The first written reference to paper for wiping the anus, from China, dates back to the sixth century AD. The commercially available toilet papers of today can be directly traced back to America, where Joseph C. Gayetty’s Medicated Paper, “For the Water-Closet”, was first marketed in December 1857. This watermarked Manila hemp paper product was lubricated with aloe and had a side line as a remedy for haemorrhoids. A tendency to splinter meant that it was eventually discontinued, only to be replaced by Northern Tissue’s “splinter-free” toilet paper in 1935. Nowadays, Andrex, Cushelle, and supermarket-own brands are all familiar household names in the UK- an essential part of the weekly shop. Not only that, there are many choices, including “artisanal” and high-end luxury brands, for the wealthy and more discerning.
Toilet paper is usually dispensed in the form of rolls, which are made up of long strips wrapped around a paperboard core. Each sheet is around 4.5 inches wide, but can vary in length. The thickness of individual sheets, referred to as “plies”, varies from one to six. Thicker toilet papers are stronger and more absorbent. Toilet paper must disintegrate easily and be biodegradable, to avoid blocking up sewage pipes. A single toilet roll can be expected to last for around five days for the average household. Exceptions have to be made for larger households or where family members have diarrhoea.
Toilet paper is by no means indispensable in “wartime” conditions. Around three-quarters of the world’s population do not use toilet paper at all, under any circumstances. Many people choose to wash their bottoms with water rather than wipe them with paper, and use their own hands in the process. Through the ages, a wide variety of other materials have been used to wipe and thereby clean the anus and perineum. This long list includes grass, leaves, hay, fruit skins, plant husks, corncobs, stones, pieces of clay, sand, wood shavings, wool, lace, cloth rags, sea shells, sponges, and anything else readily available for the purpose at the time.
There is no actual shortage of toilet paper today, but merely an excess of stockpiling. The situation is analogous to the indiscriminate hoarding of food grains during an actual famine. But what happens if supplies of toilet paper do get exhausted? You don’t have to learn survival skills or start watching survival films. There are other options to be considered. Those with the financial means might consider the benefits of being washed by a jet of water and thus consider sitting astride a bidet. The less wealthy, and those concerned about the environment and wishing to save our trees, may consider hand washes. Others may purchase “flushable” wet wipes, although it is possible that they do not flush as readily as initially thought. Tempting though it may be, newspapers and other readily available forms of paper must be avoided, unless you are prepared to call out and pay for a plumber.
To sum up, all is not lost. Toilet rolls are not indispensable to life, and provided we behave with restraint, we are unlikely to run out of supplies. If it comes to the worst, we still have water and our own hands to fall back on.
Ashis Banerjee (proud owner of a week’s supply of toilet roll)